Class Clown

📍 Quick Facts
• Location: Suite 106, 1711 4 Street SW, Calgary, AB T2S 1V8
• Phone Number: 403-243-8284
• Website: https://www.classclown.ca/
• Cuisine Type: Smash Burgers / Comfort Food

I wish this was one of those easy-to-park, walk-in-and-eat kinda reviews, but it was a little more complicated than that…

It took us about six attempts over almost two years to make it to this restaurant. Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been trying every single day, as Class Clown is a bit of a trek for us. We live in the Deep South, and Class Clown is about thirty minutes away. 

That being said, we’ve made the drive to and eaten at other restaurants just as far away without any problems.

The wait list may be the preferred method for keeping tables full and keeping demand high, but it can be frustrating for the person trying to get a table.

We tried the wait list several times, but each time we were rejected. We weren’t sure if we were trying too late in the day or what the problem was.

Our son had been recommending Class Clown to us, saying the burgers were really good. He encouraged us to keep trying and get our names on the wait list earlier in the day to improve our chances of getting a table. We decided to follow his advice.

We found ourselves in the CrossIron area this past week, doing some shopping, and decided to give it another go. We entered our information on the website and saw ‘Wait list accepted’. We were expecting a text saying our wait-list request had been rejected, but that didn’t happen this time. Instead, we received a message confirming that we were on the wait list, along with a link to check our place in line.

Well, I almost jumped for joy at that alone. We headed towards the area, knowing we only had 10 minutes to get there once our table was ready. We had no idea how quickly they would work their way through the list.

We landed in the Mission area with 15 parties still ahead of us on the list. We went for a walk to check out the neighbourhood, which is another benefit of the Class Clown wait list: it brings customers to other local businesses while they wait for their food.

We found Cleaver, a cute little place to stop for a drink. We sat and chatted while watching the number on our wait list count down. When there were only two parties ahead of us, we started walking towards Class Clown. On a side note, the food smelled fabulous at Cleaver, and we’ll be back.

We arrived just as the number of parties ahead of us ticked down to 0, and the automatic system sent us a ‘your table is ready’ text. I responded with a 1 to confirm, even though I was right there. I wasn’t going to take any chances after all the rigamarole.

I was amused to notice that my hands were almost shaking as I responded. That had only happened twice before: when we won free tickets to see U2 in London, and when we were trying to get accepted to events for Heartland (the CBC TV series). So, for me, the wait list had achieved its intended purpose of building anticipation. Let’s see if the food lives up to our expectations.

We walked inside, and the first thing we noticed was the incredible smell. It instantly brought me back to my youth, when my aunt had a small takeout place where everything was made from scratch. It smelled like really good takeout food.

Just inside the entrance, there’s a small bench to the right and, to the left, a takeout window where we checked in.

A man inside asked if he could help us, and we gave him our name for the reservation. He brought us inside, and we finally got our first look at this tiny space. There were about 10 tables, a combination of booths, high-tops and stools at the bar.

On the way to the table, the man asked if we had been there before, and we said no. He gave us no further information, other than to show us to our seats, so I wasn’t quite sure why he’d asked.

 We were seated at the bar. The server brought us water and menus. 

I looked at the menu and panicked. What burger should we get, and what fries? Never had I been so stressed about a food order before.

Needless to say, this was very unusual for me. It had been so hard to get in that we wanted to make sure we ordered the right things the first time around. I sent my son a text with ‘HELP!’ in capital letters, hoping he would see it in time.

We ordered a couple of non-alcoholic beers and explained to the server that we’d never been before. We asked for her recommendations, and she told us the California Classic was the most popular, followed by the Donald McRonald, but assured us we couldn’t go wrong with anything on the menu.

Scott and Jarrod, two other customers nearby, chimed in that the California Classic was really good and was Class Clown’s take on an In-N-Out burger.

Just in time, we got the text. ‘Order the Donald McRonald burger and the Super Duper fries.’ Never was I more grateful for a text.

We placed our order and opted for one of each burger, plus the Super Duper fries. 

After the fact, we added plain fries. When we order loaded fries, we often like to have a plain version on the side, giving us a neutral option and a break from all that flavour.

While we waited for our food, we continued chatting with the two guys alongside us, who had similar stories to ours from their time in the food industry. We explained that when it came to food service, we were like the dog that finally caught that car and decided they didn’t want it after all. We let that car go as fast as we had caught it.

The burgers arrived half-wrapped in paper, with a wet towelette in a packet ready for use. The sign alone told us to expect messy burgers, and we were fine with that.

As usual, we asked for the food to be placed in the middle of the table so we could taste back and forth between us.

Right off the bat, the In-N-Out-inspired California Classic was giving us Big Mac vibes. This burger is a nostalgia-driven, elevated take on a classic fast-food cheeseburger, with a thin, crispy-edged smashed beef patty cooked over high heat, two American cheese slices, trillion island sauce, pickles, shredded lettuce (‘shredduce ’), tomato and grilled onion. It’s all topped with a ‘squishy’, buttered and toasted sesame seed bun.

Their trillion Island sauce is a closely guarded secret, but it’s their take on an amped-up Thousand Island dressing. If I were a guessing girl with a good palate, I’d say it was likely mayo, ketchup, relish and a splash of vinegar, perhaps dressed up with a punch of garlic powder, onion powder or a dash of Worcestershire sauce.

Either way, it’s a rich, tangy and slightly sweet sauce that cuts through the savoury, crispy edges of the smash patties.

It was an excellent, high-quality gourmet burger, but there was a little too much shredded lettuce for my taste.

The Donald McRonald was even better. This smash burger had two thin beef patties with crispy, caramelized edges from mustard grilled directly onto the patties. It came with 2 American cheese slices, pickles, raw onions, ketchup and mustard, all topped with a soft, squishy, buttery toasted bun.

The Super Duper fries start with thick, ultra-crispy crinkle-cut fries topped with a generous splash of house-made cheese sauce (which tasted like Cheez Whiz). Next comes a sweet chilli meat sauce — think really good chilli without beans. A heavy dusting of crushed Hawkins Cheezies adds an extra hit of sharp cheddar flavour and crunch, followed by freshly chopped chives for a touch of ‘grown-up class’.

The Coney meat sauce is the dominant flavour. Its sweetness contrasts with and complements the salty elements, while the cheese sauce is velvety and smooth. The crushed Cheezies add a sharp, tangy hit.

Unlike traditional poutine, where the fries can go soggy quickly, the crinkle-cut ridges hold onto the sauces, while the crushed Cheezies add a satisfying crunch.

It’s like a one-bite taste of hot and messy, savoury, sweet, and cheesy comfort food. And surprisingly, it’s perfectly balanced and very moreish. 

The plain fries are the same: thick, crispy crinkle-cut fries, perfectly salted and cooked. They’re kind of like the fries that your mom would deep-fry for you years ago. Just the right amount of crispy, salty and just plain old frikkin good.

 I absolutely love fries, but most often I can just have a couple and then leave them for my dining buddy. Not this time; they were far too good, and I ate far too many. 

Okay, I’ll admit it. The food is really good, but when you take into account the hassle of trying to get a table over and over again, and then the 2-plus-hour wait once we finally managed to get on the list, you gotta wonder if the wait list is customer-friendly.

Sure, it gets bums in seats, but I will say that at no point during our meal was it a full house. There was always at least one seat or one booth open. The wait list also helps neighbouring places, with customers spending time in the area while they wait.

But overall,  I’m feeling we could get a comparable burger at many of the other burger joints here in YYC without the theatrics. I’ll also say that a bigger restaurant or second location would go a long way towards making the experience more ‘customer-friendly’.

Final decision. Love the food, but the wait list not so much. Don’t take my word for it; go and give it a try yourself. Just make sure you’re packing your stretchy pants and your patience. 

📊 Scorecard
🍴 FOOD — 4.5 / 5
✨ EXPERIENCE — 4.2 / 5
Average of Service & Hospitality, Atmosphere & Vibe, and Value for Money.

• Service & Hospitality — 4 / 5
• Atmosphere & Vibe — 4 / 5
• Value for Money — 4.5 / 5